My relationship was doomed from the start. It didn’t look good from any angle you set it on. That should’ve been my first sign for me to have gotten the fuck out.
I don’t understand how I was so mindlessly in love with him, I mean there was absolutely no reason for it. He treated me like shit. He told me what to wear, what to think, how to act. He hid me from all his friends and got mad the moment I even talked to someone else. If I zoned out and happened to look at a guy for too long this man would have literally ignored me for a day and a half (this is not an exaggeration). My father banned me from seeing him, and all my friends thought we were in an abusive relationship. The worst of it all is that I planned on spending the rest of my life with this fucker.
He convinced me not only to be the girl of his dreams (which I pulled off successfully even through his impossible circumstances), but he also convinced me I was his and he was mine. I guess that was the only thing I needed to be happy. That was until he left me, and I found out he was cheating on me the whole time.
In his defense maybe he didn’t physically cheat on me, but I count leaving me for another girl cheating. I also count convincing this girl that we weren’t together cheating. I call it cheating, and if it makes him sleep better at night to say, “I never cheated!”. Then fuck you and sleep well.
The worst part of being cheated on is that you know not only was someone better or worth more to your significant other, but you can’t get back with them. No matter how much you want to, no matter how much the heart break hurts, you can’t do it. What’s done is done, and even though it may not seem like it, you are better off without them. You are worth more than being forgotten. You are worth more than being pushed aside. You should be cherished and made to feel as if you are the best person in the world.
Your heart hurts. It’s still beating, that means you’re still living. Deal with it because it’s the only thing you can do. You feel heavy, but you still have to get through the day. Even when you finally get over it, you’ll still have days where you hurt and miss them so badly that you don’t want to get out of bed. You need to know this is okay, that these days will come and go. Focus on yourself, and think about what you want. You’ve spent far too long doing things for someone else who dropped you like a sack of potatoes. You can never leave yourself (no matter how much you want to), so focus on you, you’re the only person you’re stuck with. Read books and watch movies, cry a lot, but not too much. It’s okay to be sad, but it’s okay to get back up too. I know I still hurt…and you know what? That’s okay. It’s okay to hurt, and it’s okay to show weakness. You just got to make sure you get back on track, and don’t let it all consume you. I’ll be okay, and you will be too. Stay strong, and know that even though that fucker didn’t love you, someone will and someone does.